High aspirations? Being a friend will do

Mother Teresa said: “I was homeless – not for a shelter made of bricks, but for a heart that understand, that covers, that loves ..” There are thousands of people wanting shelter and a home in these days in the UK .. but even more crave a friend .. and most of us can reach into being one of them.

Vows … Vows … I believe In Them Anyway (Celibacy)

Yes, I’ve made a vow of life-long celibacy and, believe me, it took me years to make. I am Mrs Slow (sorry …Miss Slow) herself. ‘Yes’, you say, ‘that all very good but what if you find ‘someone’ after making your vow? And anyway, didn’t Jesus tell us not to swear and make vows?’

 OK, let’s think about the swearing first: It seems to me that there is a difference between the careless swearing Jesus condemned in the Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5: 33-37) and serious, carefully considered vow making before God.

The type of oaths described by Jesus in Matthew 5 were supposedly serious declarations, made with an appeal to God (or something else) to support (or otherwise) the truth of what people said. The result of such a broken oath would be the returning of some sort of vengeance/punishment by the person or thing they had appealed to. It appears that the Jews of Jesus’ day were well into the bad habit of swearing by all sorts of things (but not God) and weren’t always too bothered about breaking their oaths. Jesus was correcting this as well as encouraging His disciples to speak in an honest, straightforward way.

A vow is a promise, often made before God and/or people or a person. As I understand it, a vow is not foremost a declaration of the truth of something present or past but rather the sealing, with a solemn promise, a chosen direction for the future.

I doubt very much if Jesus was repudiating serious, premeditated vow making in Matthew 5. After all, if He was, shall we no longer make or support marriage vows?

In Ecclesiastes Solomon warns us not to be hasty in our heart ‘to utter anything before God’ and tells us that if we make vows we certainly better keep them (Ecclesiastes 5:2, 5)   I have certainly found the very few vows I have made have held me to my resolutions and kept me ‘on track’ in difficult times and, for that, I have valued them. Vows of marriage, celibacy and commitment to God by nature close down some options for us. They also free us for the one person or the one thing that we value so much. Surely, that’s got to be good….

Yes, it can be tough .. there are temptations in marriage as we know. Your marriage partner will probably not be the last person you feel attracted to. Unless you become a celibate hermit, you’re bound to bump into someone you like …

Personally, I have found my vow of celibacy has brought freedom to serve within the church.  Everyone knows where I stand:  it’s not worth asking me out as I’m going to say ‘no.’ I’ll not want to be looking round at anyone with a ‘view’ – no, I just want to be a sister or mother or a friend. Also, I’m not suddenly going to have a new set of priorities as I’m going to get married and have children. Altogether, in a nutshell, in the complicated realm of human relationships, things can be a little more straightforward if you make a vow.  In any church where relationships are all important all these aspects of the vow are a huge plus.

 So … there are some good reasons for making vows of commitment here … but don’t forget … Solomon’s advice. He was a wise crack….

What if? Young women: what is your calling?

 Sometimes church is languishing because we don’t seek God and have forgotten to nag Him; sometimes it’s languishing because we’ve gone our own way (call it sin); sometimes it’s languishing because we‘ve lost our up and go to do the things that Jesus said. Mission, reaching out and telling people about Jesus, has all but slipped from our hearts. After all, church can be warm, cosy and secure, especially if we’ve got lots of good mates (nothing wrong with that.) The icy winds and chill, the anguished cries of this world’s lost and broken people may beckon us – but we choose to be dull to their cries – and leave them to others.
            Come on, let me inspire you .. this time  about the young women of the Chinese Inland Mission. Ready for a history lesson?

China was really only open to European missionaries for about a hundred years, between 1843 and 1949. In these years different missions operated, including the China Inland Mission, founded by Hudson Taylor in 1865. Yes, the mission’s ethos was pretty radical. Missionaries had to respect and follow Chinese customs, wear Chinese dress and eat Chinese style – but none of these was more radical than encouraging single women as well as men to go to China as equal members of the mission. This was an age when most unmarried women in Britain lived under the protection of their families until they were married. It was unthinkable for single women to go abroad alone. If women felt called to go abroad, they had to find someone to marry with the same vision! Missionaries were always men – and usually ordained. Hudson Taylor’s policy to recruit single women as missionaries shocked Victorian Britain and was bitterly criticised by some of his fellow missionaries. Hudson was undeterred: in 1866 he landed in China with the first group of missionaries and this included 8 single women. 

 The single women missionaries (many of whom were in their early twenties when they arrived) taught and evangelised, both in the churches and the many schools they founded. Unlike the male missionaries, they were able to enter the homes of Chinese women who spent most of the time in their homes as semi-invalids, following the centuries-old traditional foot-binding tradition. These missionaries brought many Chinese women to Jesus and enabled them to tell their neighbours and families about Jesus.

Hudson Taylor wanted to encourage the Chinese church to stand on its own two feet; single women missionaries were sent to support and encourage local Chinese pastors. When European male missionaries were around, the Chinese church leaders expected them to lead. The missionary women provided experience and wisdom that could be drawn on but the local Chinese leaders still led the churches.

At first the single women lived alongside married couples in the interior. Later, they were sent to distant places to work alongside Chinese colleagues. Often, they were left in charge of mission stations. Here they went from door to door evangelising and training the new converts both to read and to read the Bible.

Risking their lives, these women crossed the vast tracks of inland China, passing through the inhospitable Gobi Desert and Tibetan foothills, often visiting places where no European man – let alone a woman - had ever visited.  On the way they faced treacherous weather conditions, bandits, civil war, anti-western feeling, superstition and misunderstandings. Many died of cholera and dysentery and others suffered violent deaths. 

Think of the Chinese church today, by and large robust, missionary- minded and definitely multiplying. How much, I wonder, is the result of those intrepid women’s endeavours, risking all as they ventured into the unknown – for God and His kingdom?

So today, what if we could see a rising generation of holy, love-filled dare-devils (excuse the expression) with a passion for reaching out to others with the love of God and the gospel?  What if there should arise a group of adventurous and single-eyed young women who are as keen to win people in our nation for Jesus as those Chinese missionaries were? What if .. what if … could we make the same huge difference those women did in China? What if ….

Needing You so badly, Lord

Two of my students have recently lost a close family member in Afghanistan: one an Afghan whose wife has been shot and the other a UK born woman whose soldier-son has been blown up by a roadside bomb – both by the hands of the Taliban.  Indeed 11 November 2010 was one of those awful, unforgettable days. The lady I mentioned burst into the class; some members of the military had visited her in the early hours of that morning and informed her that her son was dead. Despite my persuasions, she would not go home. Ironically, being November 11, I had already decided we would have a minutes silence at eleven – the most poignant minute’s silence I have ever known – as with the huge burden of grief upon her shoulders, she sat there, near me, in agonised silence.

Oh sad, sad land

  Earth stained crimson red

    Blood shrieking from the soil

   

‘Another senseless death’

And mothers weep, young women cry

  Strong men bow low with grief

   When will You come, oh God?

 ‘Come stop the carnage’

If hearts can turn to You, then let them turn

  If hearts can soften, let them do so

    If there is but a little crack

Then enter where You can, where You’re allowed

It is a start ….

And yes, Oh Christ who wept with Mary

   Enter once again …. soften this heart of mine

    That I might feel and weep and hold … and

                  

Needing You so badly, Lord

O sad, sad world, and sad, sad …. Afghanistan.

  Your grief has over-spilled  …. beyond once-pleasant land

    It has reached – even to here.

Cynical no longer. Hey, do you want another chip?

It’s 10.20pm, another cold night (-1 ⁰) and this time it’s Helen and me, armed with our hot water bottles, walking, scouring, the streets of Coventry. They’re rather dark tonight as there’s a power cut which has set off a relay of shop alarms.  It’s rather eerie actually. Stuffing one of the filled bottles under my duffle coat (welcome warmth) we scout deserted car parks, back alleys and shop and church doorways. Where are all the homeless folks tonight? Let’s hope they’ve found somewhere warm for the night.

Ah yes, we spy them, sitting at a bus stop, two men hungrily eating chips. I look at them and think, ‘mmm, certainly look like good candidates for a hot water bottle.’ We approach them and offer our wares. One of them, let’s call him Wally, tells me his story:  ‘I was homeless in London for two years and then came to Coventry. ‘Val’*found me a place to live a year ago. Yes, Val is a wonderful lady. Here, d’you want a chip?’

 ‘Err, thank you, that’s very kind …’  I replied.

Wally went on to tell me how cynical he used to be - about life, how he had thought everyone was just out for themselves, not bothered about the likes of homeless men like him. He told me of how, after Val had helped him find a flat, he had attended a church centre in Coventry (wish I could remember the name) which had a volunteer scheme to support homeless people. He went there one day and sat down, overcome and weeping. How could people give up their spare time to help people like him? It was too much. Yes, he said, the friend with him was a little embarrassed at his tears, after all - a grown man crying. 

Wally is no longer cynical. ‘What a lovely thing’, he said, ‘giving out hot water bottles’ – but explained that he didn’t need one as he no longer lives on the streets.  ‘Here, have another chip!’ ‘

‘No thanks, Wally,’ I replied. ‘No more. You enjoy them now.’

‘Yes, I’ll be up at the Jesus Centre tomorrow,’ Wally added cheerfully.

‘Great to meet you, Wally,’ I said, ‘and, yes, I’ll tell Val how well you’re doing and that you’ve got that place still. I won’t be at the Jesus Centre tomorrow but will see you there sometime!’

*Val is a support worker at Coventry Jesus Centre, running a ‘bond scheme’ to help homeless people into secure housing.

Fruit cakes? Celibacy gets better

Just thinking today about Granny’s fruit cake …. cakes really were her thing. She cooked them continuously for family, people in her village and, yes, the ‘old ladies.’ (I did point out to her once that she herself was actually older than her ‘old ladies’.) Even when she died, aged 91, one of her fruit cakes sat half-eaten in a tin in my room.

The thing about fruit cakes is: they improve with age.

On Saturday I interviewed a young sister about her celibate call; she is on the threshold, dare I say, of middle age – give it another few years. (The crossover line to middle-age gets higher as you get older. Now it’s about 42 - it used to be about 35.)

Anyway, I do sometimes surprise myself by what comes out of my own mouth. You see, I found myself encouraging her that celibacy actually improves with age. After all, you know yourself better, your limitations as well as your gifts and you definitely discover more gifts as you go along; you know God in a deeper way, hopefully rest a little more on/in who He is and that bonding brings a solid, inward security.  Yes, all this but more … I have found more possibilities are opened up to you. Bluntly, not so many men fall in love with you. Young men look to you as a mother, not an eligible partner.

Yes, the door widens, not narrows; the field gets wider. And anyway, for goodness sake, let’s stop worrying about age. After all, how old was Moses when he began to lead God’s people? 80. And think about Anna, the prophetess - definitely a celibate. She was so single-eyed in her vision that she didn’t even leave the Temple at the age of 84. It’s hard to find an equal to match her passion to see the coming of God’s kingdom (Luke 2:36-38.)

There’s life in the old fruit cake still. Improved life. If I know anything about God, I’m sure He wants things to get better and better anyway – even if it means more heartaches, humblings, breakings on the way. My celibate friend, you are on the threshold .. nearly. Now is the time to take heart, look forward, anticipate .. the better half of your life. Like fruit cakes, your gifting will improve with age.

 

Joseph and Mary take Jesus, as a baby, to the Temple in Jerusalem

 ‘There was also a prophetess, Anna, the daughter of Phanuel, of the tribe of Asher. She was very old; she had lived with her husband seven years after her marriage, and then was a widow until she was eighty-four. She never left the temple but worshipped night and day, fasting and praying. Coming up to them (Mary, Joseph and Jesus) at that very moment, she gave thanks to God and spoke about the child to all who were looking forward to the redemption of Jerusalem.’ Luke 2: 36-38

Helping Jo to read and write (3)

Heart In The Write Place (see Jesus Life: issue 89)

See previous two blogs: helping Jo to read and write (1 & 2)

 Well done! You’ve really got going, helping Jo to read and write. You are both really pleased with his progress. I bet he’s telling you that he’s started picking out and reading words he’s never recognised as he’s walking round town, sitting on the bus etc.  Moving on to the next phase now ….

1.      Go over with Jo what he has learned at the beginning of each session.
2.      Gradually introduce more words that don’t carry much phonics logic e.g. ‘who’, ‘said’ - especially ones that are useful for Jo’s life.
3.      Begin to introduce letter combinations like ‘ee’, ‘ea’, ‘or’, ‘er’ (called digraphs.)
4.      Teach Jo the order of the alphabet (just make some small cards with the letter on them.)
5.      Begin to introduce UPPER CASE letters and explain they are used as the first letter for names of people, places and the pronoun I.  
6.      Combine learning to read and write with learning computer word processing.
7.      Encourage independence: e.g. leave Jo for a few minutes to write a sentence. 
 8.  Finally – don’t get discouraged. What Jo learns one week may be forgotten by the next. Keep going over what he has already learned.

Well, that’s a start. There’s plenty more to learn but, like a building, good foundations make for a solid structure that will stand the test of time.   Jo has a good foundation now to build on.  He has some essential skills, the door has opened and his life will never be quite the same again. Your positive input has made a huge difference – not just to Jo’s reading and writing skills but to his life in general.  I have heard great stories from folks saying that learning to read has given them new social confidence: now they can speak in public, look people in the eye etc.

Well done! What you have done has made a huge difference to Jo – and probably to you too! Keep going!

Resources:  (You don’t need many – almost all mine are home-made)

Useful books:

Alpha to Omega: A. to Z. of Teaching Reading, Writing and Spelling: Beve Hornsby, Julie Pool, Frula Shear  

Toe by Toe: A Highly Structured Multi-sensory Reading Manual for Teachers and Parents by Keda Cowling and Harry Cowling  

 Spotlight on Words: Phonic Wordsearch Puzzles and Activities to Help the Development of Spelling Skills by Gillian Aitken.  Robinswood Press