I turn my head; I hear the plop; a little tern in free fall hits the streaming waters; ah, it’s found a wriggling, silvery fish. And there, an oyster catcher’s anxious, plaintive call; has it lost its nest and young to this high, sweeping tide? An old gull sits with watchful gaze upon its post and, with outstretched wings, flies away to caw and cry; another answers - some strange language I do not know – maybe it’s about me, warning its mate that I’m around; I mean no harm.
I drop anchor, splosh, my little boat swings and tugs against the flooding tide.
Ah yes, I know this boat; she’s older than me and I first learned to row her when I was perhaps six or even seven. The smell that always was, is still there, salty, varnish-y – from swelling, clinkered planks, warmed by the summer’s sun. I position myself on the worn floorboards and sit and watch and listen. Downstream I see the mill, the sluice and far away, I’d like to feel, is civilisation. I love it, how I love it; alone with my thoughts and they’re not very deep because, because I’m distracted by the beauty. That sky – a wide and open sky, a painting above my head of varied hues and strangely textured clouds; there’s no hideous buildings here to block my view.
Yes, the tide is tugging, tugging, wanting to pull this craft away but the anchor proves too strong. I’m here to stay, that is, until I pull up anchor and this I feel reluctant to do.
The tide is turning, I must go .. soaked in the beauty, the grace of tide-drenched marshes and swathes of purple lavender; up anchor now and man the oars, off and away until another time …
Inside too … there’s stillness, the tugging tide subdued, I realise my Anchor will hold … another day….
I'm feeling a bit more confident today and I’m not the MC this time – that’s Marie’s job – and we learned a lot from last time. Yes, and I think confidence is one of the main themes of the day – actually, confidence and courage. I believe we find confidence when we step out of our comfort zones .. and lots of us will be doing that today.
This time there’s a buzz from the start, an excitement (woe betide us if there’s no excitement about following Jesus .. me thinks when/if this happens we’re getting tired and old!)
So much said … and again it’s been a great day: here’s just a few highlights .. there’s a great feeling of women being together worshipping … after all, we’re devoted to Him and we’ve got a great legacy to follow … yes, we could do with a Miriam to show the way … we’re a little stiff and we need a leader in dance and expressive celebration. Miriam, where are you? There’s no reluctance to worship, though .. we’re all raring to go.
Mick, our main leader, outlines his vision for new creation women, not to be crushed but to be confident; he sees us as a sailing ship – the sail is being lifted, it has begun to rise but now it must reach its position as a full-hoisted sail and today is part of that… yes, we are to live in our new creation .. not women marked by shallowness and gossip or insecurity but rather we are to like ourselves. God wants to bring us back into an undivided devotion to Him, whether married or single. O yes, and we‘re to keep young! The secret? Following Jesus!
Mick encouraged us all to have six good relationships – a mixture of 'upward', 'sideways' and 'downward' ones and spoke of what he calls the big challenge: initiating, building and sustaining relationships.
Yes, we’re women with a vital part to play, to complement, to be confident and not crushed … courageous women. It’s a day for the ‘C’ words today!
Hey, it’s time for a chat and we love doing that (another C word.) Next time we need to make that lunch break longer.. and here is Mamfi’s photo of our fabulous cake stand (o dear .. another C word.). Now don’t get the wrong impression, will you .. Accelerate is not just about cakes and icing and … more cakes and … more icing and …. cookies too. We do get down to the serious stuff …. in-between our breaks…!
Rhoda isn’t here as she’s ill …… that’s a shame as she is a superb teacher … but Anita ably stood in her place. She reads this saying out:
sow an action, reap a habit; sow a habit, reap a character; sow a character, reap a destiny
Georgia, Mim and Gill, representing three generations stir us to step across those generational barriers and Debs and Deborah (with great hilarity) challenge us out of our insecurities and into mature attitudes and relationships with the men who shepherd us (covering comes out of friendship with respect.) Janet produced such excellent tips on building relationships that I think everyone should read them..
Seminars .. I love it, just to see people express themselves, overcome those nerves, wow … why? People like Toni, Yvonne … I heard you … you’ve got something really worthwhile to say and I don’t want you to sit on it but to say it.
Then there’s a time for exploding myths: ‘you have to have children to be fulfilled?’ Definitely not ..well, I’m glad about that because I’m a celibate..
Particularly interesting was Ro’s seminar on singleness: I’m planning a blog to share what she said so watch this space! Ro is one of those people you don’t hear much from but she’s certainly got some well-thought out viewpoints.
Hey, Accelerate was great, really great. The sail is rising; the gaff with sail needs to reach its upright position, resting erect, high against the mast. Let’s help each other get there, that’s what its all about .. and don’t forget, we need a Miriam. Where are you?
Once a week I leave the city and take a walk in the countryside; it’s bliss! I walk down the sloping orchard, through the long wet grass that stretches between row upon row of stooping apple trees – packed now with small, tight apples, swelling agreeably with all this rain .. but sun not much…
The air is different here; it feels different, smells different; what is it? … It’s like the world of nature owns the air itself whereas in the town we do - humans I mean …Yes, the distance grrrr of lorries and high speed trains is still here - but the bees, the buttercups, the swallows and the wind all own the air.
What is it I breathe here, this country air? It is so different? I can only describe it as ‘stillness.’ ….
Stillness is what I crave for and yet don’t want, seek after but choose hurriedness instead … it’s so hard to stop …. put on the brakes ….
Yes, when I get there … I’m in tune with myself, my deep within, I feel in step with God again and sense others’ deeps too. I'm righted, no longer heeling sharply over, I’m sailing again …. phew ..
Learn it, my soul, learn it – stillness.
I’ve got a problem as a writer that crops up again and again: How do you hear God? It can be misleading to say, ‘I heard God speak’ or, 'I heard God say..’ Certainly, the great majority of the time we don’t hear Him speak in an audible voice (I’ve never heard the audible voice of God.) I mean, do we 'sense' His voice or 'feel' His voice or 'perceive' His voice? Which verb should we use? I’m not sure.
Of course, I’m a good evangelical – and I hold that my main source of hearing God’s voice is through the Bible. Most of the time God speaks through the written word (thank God for those amazing people who fought (and died) for it to be translated into the vernacular. So, I can ‘read’ His voice – well that’s another angle. 
Elijah describes God’s voice as a still, small one. Not loud, not tempestuous, but like still air, gently, almost imperceptibly, blowing across your face. It’s noiseless .. but then others have described it quite differently: it feels like a hammer or fire in the bones (Jeremiah 23:29; 20:9.)
Perhaps, at times, I can say I have ‘received’ God’s voice rather like my mobile receives signals. Somehow, spirit touches spirit - it’s very hard to explain. The psalmist says, ’deep calls to deep…’ (42:7) Something deep out there, but also very near at hand, actually so near at hand that it comes from within, connects with my ‘deep’ and I recognise, ‘that was God.’
This deep ‘word,’ this voiceless voice, takes us by surprise. It does not come with what we would expect. I think of the time when wretched with condemnation I ‘received’ the word, the notion, the something, that this other ‘deep’ embraces me and my ‘deep’ with an unconditional blanket of love, looking beyond all the turmoil that I sometimes am. It comes with unexpected comfort in the storm; equally it comes with reality, bringing the uncomfortable when all I want is peace.
And sometimes I get it wrong … and I am loath to say ‘God says…’ I much prefer, ‘ I think God has said..’ We all make many mistakes, as James has kindly pointed out to us (James 3:2) …..but that doesn’t matter too much, not in eternal terms anyway, as long as we learn from our mistakes.
One thing I do know: ‘receiving’ God’s word makes all the difference, yes ALL the difference, the difference between a moonless midnight and a cheery summer’s morning, the difference between, well, death and life.
Make me a better receiver .. deep calls to deep….o mighty God.
This was written on 28/6/12 with a little added thought later....
Today is celebration day – a celebration of marriage - my parents have been married 60 years. I’ve just given them the card (see picture.) Why the crown? Well, they always feel they are neck and neck with her majesty. A few weeks ago, being Jubilee weekend, they dug out the house decorations they had made 59 years ago as newly-weds for the coronation and once more proudly placed them on the front of their house!
60 years is a long time and certainly reason to celebrate: 60 years and six children - not to mention all the grandchildren and great grandchildren; it’s been a fruitful union: the children are stable and able to stand on their own two feet and, let’s face it, it’s a difficult world and, for the most part, life is a challenging experience. And, 60 years on, they’re still each other’s best friends. You can’t beat that …
I’m into marriage. Yes, I know I’m a celibate and often blog about celibacy but I’m into marriage too. We need solid strong marriages in the church; indeed I’ve been in church scenes without them and, actually, it doesn’t work too well…. Stable married people bring a family atmosphere and a welcome normality; often their offspring (all ages including the very young) have been among my best friends. They need us as well, yes us celibates and the time we have; the fact that we haven’t got our own families makes us more available to them as friends, mothers, fathers etc. Let’s hope that the spiritual dimension we carry because we’re celibate - intimacy with God, warmth of humanity and sharpness in spirit - brings something they need too.
Marrieds, singles, celibates … all are needed but today is a day to remember, a celebration of marriage and a lasting and fruitful one at that ... and for the mutual love, lasting devotion and stability found within it I am profoundly grateful.
I’ve spent 27 of my 56 years in community – with a seven year gap in the middle when I lived on my own .. that’s plenty of time to reflect, both from the inside and outside as to what, actually it is all about.. and I’ve certainly not got to the bottom of it yet!
Let’s say, it’s not about four walls, neat systems, nor even about the bank account we all share or the meals we have together. Community is something ‘of the heart.’ My observation is, it’s quite possible to live ‘in community’ and not live in community at all. It is also possible to not reside in the four walls of a community setting and have a great ‘community heart.’
Community is primarily about relationships, both with one another and, of course, most important, with God.
So, here goes .... I think ...
1. It’s about looking out for each other and meeting a need, whether it’s peeling carrots or bringing an encouraging word, lending a listening ear or looking after someone else’s kids for a while.
2. It’s about, figuratively speaking, slowing down, pulling over onto the hard shoulder and stopping to give time for a five minute chat … even when there is no time (we think.)
3. It’s about learning what makes others tick and understanding their sensitivities and being considerate.
4. It’s about saying sorry, remembering sometimes the most well-meaning intentions seem to backfire (yes, I know about that ..)
5. It's about making space for others, about not over-leading; it’s about not making people feel small when we know more.
6. It’s about working as a unit, about giving way, putting others before ourselves, about being happy not to be the king-pin.
7. It’s about seeing others do well when we’re not doing so well and rejoicing; it’s acknowledging that others are much better at some things than we are and being very happy in that (remember we’ve been brought up in a culture when it’s always best to be tops at everything.)
8. It’s about being read to before you go to bed – Penelope Wilcock or CS Lewis (a luxury I enjoy)
9. It’s about being known, it’s sharing the deepest fears with someone and not being afraid.
10. It’s about having a hug when you most need it; it’s giving out when you feel, well, just needy yourself …
11. It’s about thinking of the most positive things you can about a person when they are really getting on your nerves and you’re not sure you like them very much.
12. It’s about enjoying each other, a muddy walk, a game of scrabble, a deep heart share.
13. It’s about ‘gardening’, relationships tended, weeded, watered, day after day.
14. It’s about saying thank you and not taking others’ servant-heartedness for granted. It’s about being grateful for others while we still have them. It’s being thankful to God too…
15. It’s about being a circle - no corners – embracing, holding everyone in our hearts. The aim of community is impartial love. Help!
16. At its best, it’s about stepping over the garden wall, figuratively speaking again, and sitting in another’s heart, to listen, to share or even sit in silence. It’s the nearest thing to heaven on earth … if it’s IN our hearts.
17. Hey, I’m going on … it’s about walking hand in hand with God and seeing one another from His perspective; it’s praying, longing over each other.
18. Yes, it’s about Jesus, it’s all for Him and it’s finding His heart, His mind, His everything in everything we do … help again! This is getting deep..
19. … And yes, too, it’s about the grief of parting, whether in death or just when God calls us on … it’s about giving, loving and then letting go..
20. It’s about journeying, learning, a voyage of discovery and that’s not going to end in this life which brings me on to the finally …(for the time being anyway)
21. It’s about eternity because community here, on earth, is just the very, very beginning of it all .. and very imperfect, as we all know … eternity will be community, sharing in the wonderful unity of the Godhead, the perfect bonding of like-hearts .. eternal bliss …. and I guess we will relish, relish, relish all the amazing, sometimes painfully-birthed, friendships we forged on earth. Heaven will be - community.
Enough said for now
Ezekiel, well, he’s not my favourite prophet. I don’t get what all those temple measurements are about but then, I’m not a mathematician (understatement) but that vision of the glorious ethereal beings, the moving throne, the wheels within the wheels, just moving this way and that and the .. the what? The Man on this throne, steering the great thing I suppose … well that is just aaaaaaawesome. It’s a glimpse into another world, a world beyond our world; maybe that’s the wrong preposition, parallel to our world .. I don’t know ..I don’t know because I really don’t know where this world is at all …..
I think we live in fascinating age of discovery .. every time I hear of a new constellation, planet or star being discovered it makes me go a bit tingly.
But this other world is not subject to the same laws as our world is. I mean, you can’t just send off a space probe to measure it, photograph it or conduct an experiment to find just what is what….
This other world seems to reveal itself momentarily when you least expect it. Ah, I’m just reading the Magician’s Nephew (well, actually having it read to me – luxury.) C.S. Lewis captured this fact gloriously; you can’t follow one, two, three steps and you’re there. It just happens when it happens. And happen it does…
You know this other world .. a few weeks ago someone, let’s say of a sound mind and a rather respectable social standing was passing by our marquee in Northamptonshire and, when he least expected it, saw this other world. Above our church marquee was a bright light (so bright he could not look at it.) I bet if he looks when it’s pitched again this summer he won’t see it - even if it is there - because that's the nature of things…
This world, the world Ezekiel saw, is not magical - well not in our sense of the word. It’s real, as real as, well, you and me. Other, different, beyond, paranormal, numinous, supernatural ……. words fail. Ezekiel saw it ….. aaaaaaawesome.
I turn my head; I hear the plop; a little tern in free fall hits the streaming waters; ah, it’s found a wriggling, silvery fish. And there, an oyster catcher’s anxious, plaintive call; has it lost its nest and young to this high, sweeping tide? An old gull sits with watchful gaze upon its post and, with outstretched wings, flies away to caw and cry; another answers - some strange language I do not know – maybe it’s about me, warning its mate that I’m around; I mean no harm. 
